marieldraconis

Since the writing seems pretty matter of fact, not very descriptive, then I'd say that don't embellish whatever it is she saw, just describe it as impassively (i.e. and saw a pile of fresh corpses with a red beast crouched over them, something like that). That'll have the fun effect of understatement. Except most ghost stories are more detailed, to add to the suspense and make it more engaging for the listener/reader, since the point is to scare them. But since it's told through another voice, apparently, the style you're using is ok too.

Don't keep me in suspense much longer! What'd she see??